ALL IN
by moesha771968
Summary: Grissom makes a decision, and a promise. Can Sara accept? After all they have given me, I wanted to give them something...


Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or anything else related to the show.

Warning: Rated M for a reason, slight smut below. Also, POV changes ahead!

A/N: After 9 years, I want to give them something back. After all they have given me, they earned it.

ALL-IN

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A shower, and a quick nap, he would not feel guilty about taking time to do that. Afterwards, he would have to get back to work. This case had turned into a monster. He could not help thinking how she would feel about it. Such senseless cruelty and violence, it would cut her deeply. Thank God she wasn't here. He knew she was back home in San Francisco, a place he knew she loved. He wasn't ashamed to admit he had used department resources to locate her. He had been thinking about her so much lately. It was difficult not to, knowing he what he was about to do.

Now that the lab was taken care of, he had carefully considered his next move. What he was about to do next...well he had thought about it a lot, what he wanted to say, her possible reactions, it still scared the hell out of him. He had a bad habit of screwing stuff like this up. But, nonetheless, it was the right thing to do, so she could prepare herself.

The nap could wait, this could not. Time to do this...flipping on the web-cam, he began...

"Good evening. I hope when this finds you, it finds you well. It has been awhile since I heard from you, but I wanted to respond. I'm sorry it took me so long to do so, but, well, you know how I am. Better than anyone you know how I am."

He had to smile a little at that, he could see her nodding her head, indeed, she knows exactly how he is.

"The last few months have been pretty hectic, I know you understand that. But things are going well, as well as they can in our...I mean my business. We have a new CSI on board, I am sure if you've spoken to Greg he told you about her. There might be something funny going on there, but you know I can never figure these things out... Anyway, I am just glad it is Catherine's to deal with now. Ecklie also has some good prospects too, so I know they will be alright."

He could see her beautiful face, processing what he had just said. He missed her so much.

"I'm leaving CSI. My time here is done. With everything that has happened, I know you aren't surprised, you saw it coming, waited for it. I just had to drag it out, again, you know how I am. I know you were waiting for me to decide ...for us. I see it so clearly now. I think I knew it then, but it was easier to pretend I didn't."

Be honest, he told himself, she's earned the truth from you.

"I wish I could say your message made me feel better about how things ended, but, truth be told, it knocked the breath out of me. I thought that all I ever wanted for you was for you to be happy even if that meant leaving me. Know what I learned? The noble bit is a load of shit."

That she would agree with, he knew. He couldn't help the sadness that crept into voice as he continued.

"I wanted you to stay and be happy with me ... even though I knew you couldn't. In your message, hearing you say how you thought we could survive anything...it made me realize I didn't think that, I never did. I always just knew the day would come when you want out. I wanted to believe in us, I just couldn't. But the fact that you did made me realize how much I love you, how much I have always loved you. "

He paused, looking straight into the web-cam, willing her to see his sincerity. Please, God, let me be right about this.

"I know you said that it was better this way...being apart...permanently. Remember what I said about being noble? I don't blame you for lying, and Honey, I know it was a lie. I just followed the evidence, and thankfully, your eyes told me something different than what you were saying. I know you thought you were doing the right thing, letting me go, allowing me to move on with my life without you. That's what I wanted you to believe. I knew that I couldn't do it, I couldn't let you go, so once again, I let you bail me out. I played the guilt card, so you would leave, just like I always knew you always would. "

Keep going, he told himself, finish this once and for all.

"I think I wanted you to move on, then I would have been correct in my hypothesis, and my life could go back to the way it was before... tidy, organized, and perfect. Well, that perfection thing may be a load too."

We weren't perfect, she knows that, but we were the best imperfect thing that ever happened to me.

" I have been trying to figure out if people can change. I think that they can and that is why I have to leave Las Vegas. I want my life back, and I want it with you. And Sara, this time, I promise you, I'm going all-in."

Just breathe, Gil, and hit the send button. For better or worse, it will change your life forever.

'Here's to hoping it's for the better,' Gil said aloud to Hank and himself, as he sent the message.

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It felt good, jogging along the path, weaving in and out of others enjoying the park today. It would have been nice to jog with Hank today, but then she forced herself to remember that is no longer possible. Having been at sea for so long, it felt good to be home. She would never regret taking the trip, the experiences, oh how she wished he had been there to share them.

Don't go there, she told herself.

Anyway, the trip had given her a sense of peace that had sadly been lacking, ever since Natalie Davis changed the course of her world forever. Surviving the flood waters and desert was one thing, surviving the aftermath proved to be much more difficult. Now, she was facing a new life...a life without forensics and without Gil. They had both been a part of her for so long, she was still trying to adjust. She could find a new career, she already had hopes of what she was going to do, if the interview went well next month. But, life without Gil, that was much more difficult. In the past, even when he wasn't in her life, he was still a part of her life. Now, well, now things were different. She knows she did the best thing she could. After the way she had to leave the first time, it was amazing they survived. But they had survived and she really believed they were going to make it. For the first time in her life, she truly believed. But, now, by her own admission, it was better this way ...no matter how much she loved him.

Arriving back at her studio, she took a glance around. This should seem like a closet after the townhouse she left in Vegas. It wasn't much, but then again, she had learned young not to need much. After a shower and snack, she sat down to check her email. She would never admit it, but 'The Sanders Gossip Line' kept her entertained. She loved Greg, he really did turn out to be a good friend. His stories and anecdotes reminded her that while she was gone, she was not forgotten. Her replacement, Riley, if she remembered her name correctly, had definitely made an impact on her friend. She couldn't help but wonder if Greg knew that yet. There was no email from Greg, but there was a message from someone else. After all she had seen and been through in her life, this message in her in-box scared the hell out of her like nothing before. For better or for worse, she hit the mouse to play the message.

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That had been difficult, he thought to himself. He couldn't help thinking if she had felt as sad as he had walking out of the lab for the last time. Maybe, someday, he would have the chance to ask her. The case was solved and it was time. He would not miss the crime scenes, the victims, the families, the sheer brutality of the job, but he would miss the science...and the people. He just left the only family he'd ever really had.

It had been a week since he sent the message, with no response. That should not be a shock to him. If you look up 'mystery' in the dictionary, a picture of her would be there...okay, so it wouldn't be, but it should be. She was the only person he knew who could show absolutely nothing as well as he could. With a grin, he allowed himself the fantasy that they should join the poker circuit. Two minds as brilliant as theirs, they do major damage at a poker table. Five days, he told himself, as he approached the door of the townhouse. If she hadn't responded in that time, demanding he stay away from her, he and Hank were embarking on a road trip.

Letting himself in the townhouse, he was shocked when Hank did not come running. He searched the top floor, then proceeded down the steps, still no Hank. Growing concerned, he remembered the alarm had been set, he turned it off when he came in. Wistfully thinking he believed in carrying a gun, he approached the bedroom. The door was slightly closed, so he had to push it open. Hoping not to startle an intruder or find a sick dog, he moved with caution. What he saw made him wish he was a dog.

There, in the king sized bed they had spent hours trying to pick out three years ago, was their dog. By his side, the very beautiful love of his life. For a rare moment in his life, he was frozen in his steps. He couldn't move, he may not had even been breathing. He would have time to breath later, right now he just wanted to believe what he was seeing. Taking a step closer, he thought he heard something. He leaned over closer to where they lay, the sound repeated. He did indeed hear something, and it was music to his ears...

"I call, Gilbert."

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Kissing was a funny thing. When done badly, it was funny...in a 'ha-ha, get me the hell out of here' sort of way. When done right, it was funny... in a 'please take me now' sort of way. Now, in recent years, I have acquired more patience than I have ever had. But right now, it was definitely being tested. This man made me do and feel things that, while perfectly natural for less restrained people, were simply off the chart for me. When Gil arrived and found Hank and I, it was priceless. It has been a challenge of mine during our turbulent run to shock him. I think I did that today by calling his all-in. Unfortunately, Hank has needs and interrupted our reunion. Thankfully, two hours later, everyone having been bathed, fed, etc., we are picking up where we left off.

Having throughly kissed and nibbled on my entire body, he was now settling his mouth in between my legs. From past experience I know I am about to take a very pleasant trip. When his tongue reached my clit, and those magical fingers entered me, the orgasm racked my entire body. I am a scientist, I know that the body will react to stimulation, but this, with this man, was so beautiful, it's almost too much.

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When I felt her body begin to shudder, I couldn't help but smile, raising to watch her. I love her so much, this was one thing we never had to worry about in our relationship. It always just worked. Watching her come down, I knew what she was thinking, and I would not deny her, not when I wanted to be inside her so desperately. Rolling on my back, I helped her move into position, straddling me. I couldn't resist a kiss, and pulled her down for a slow deep one. When she moaned, tasting herself on my mouth, I nearly lost it. As I entered her, she grasped my hands that were above my head. I love to watch her from this position, head tilted back. It had been a long time, and she felt so incredible. I knew I wouldn't last long. When she came again, I exploded within her, it's so rare for that to happen...it's almost too much.

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Pulling each other close, they drifted off to sleep, murmuring 'I love yous'. They had some decisions to make, but they had made the most important one first. Everything else would be okay...

Thanks for reading.


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